Steve OTR: Marz Rover Spirit, Acting Real Baudy

Hey Space Cadets!  This is Steve OTR, the JBN Newz Rover.  My boss-man, Rich Bossmund stationed me on Mars to cover NASA's Mars Rover "Spirit." Chas Laser (The editor for JBN), sent me a 4-port USB converter and microwave to heat me some of Phat Ho's Korean pizza.  Everything was fine until I plugged my microwave's DB9 male connector into a USB Type B female port on the Mars Rover "Spirit."  Now Spirit's acting real baudy.  I can't believe that NASA didn't include the user's manual.  It was bad enough that it was rolling like a Sunday afternoon driver, but now, it quit screwing around with the rocks, too.  I figure that if NASA can't use it anymore, then I would hook it to my car.  It looks like it would be great for tailgating, once I attach some Naked Lady "Hooker" Mud Flaps!

So far, there's been no sign of Commander X, Marvin the Martian, so "Houston, we have a problem."  And I can definitely report that Mars needs women.   Later, I'm going to hotwire the alpha particle X-ray spectrometer on Spirit to see if I can pick-up any old episodes of My Favorite Martian.   If Steve OTR can't get a spark out of old Spirit, it will be an exclusive for The Martian Chronicle.

In my 22 years in the Navy, I could fix most any chips while I was stationed on the USS Cowpatty (CG 63), at the Mighty Moo Festival in Cowpens, South Carolina, before shipping out to Yokosuko, Japan.  If all else fails, I get a second Opportunity on the dark side of Mars Saturday night.

Now as I recall, after I plugged my USB DB9 into Spirit, we played a rousing eighteen holes, err craters, and then this Beagle-2 comes out of nowhere and attacked Spirit.   I thought it had rabies, so I had to put it down.   I buried it on the other side of that grassy nole over there.   Too bad NASA may have to wait to find water on Mars and there is no telling when we’ll get a man up here.   Wait a second.  I think I may see something like a clue on the Martian ground here in front of Spirit…  Nope.  Nevermind.   It ain’t a thing, but a chicken wing.

Well that's all the Mars newz for now. To get back to HQ, I'm hitching a ride in a Saturn.   Catch me on the internet!   I have to tell Chas Laser to send me some of those Quarky Photos.