Madonna Mad About Janet Jackson's
Exposed Titty
Diva claims that rather than frenching Britney Spears and Christina
Aguilera , that she will now have to give them a thorough
tongue-licking/thrashing, just to achieve the same shock-value. "Next
thing you know, lesbians will be breast-feeding in public," foamed
Madonna. "With free music on the internet, artists have to either bare
it or do something wild on their DVDs; unfortunately for Michael
Jackson, he thought it was 'do something wild on BVDs.'"
Other
reports claim that Janet's titty didn't see its own shadow, meaning an
early Spring for Justin Timberlake, but six more years of legal trouble
for brother Michael Jackson.
Justin Timberlake, asked if he regretted his performance with Janet,
calmly said, "well yeah, I've could've sucked."
P. Diddy exclaimed: "If I'd known Justin was out-ing Janet's titty, then
I'd 'Beyonce-d' my diddy!" To which Beyonce replied, "I didn't see
nothing but a bomb bursting in air."
Lawyer Johnnie Cochran said: "If that wasn't Janet's nipple, then I'm
not a Mr. Whipple! and if Tito's squeezin Janet's Charmin, then
Neverland's kids are alarmin."
Possibly breaking a gag-order, Tito Jackson issued a press release that
"he didn't know about Michael's 'Jesus Juice' wine, but Janet's Juicer
shore do fine."
Speculators in the recording biz, are buzzing about Janet's exposure
being a ploy to soften fans to brother Michael's new back-up singers, 'Jacko's
Camel-Toe.'"
Carolina Panthers coach, John Fox, claimed that "really he was not
telling his team that he wanted them to go for two extra points, but
that he was signaling that Justin should replay the
Janet-nip-slip-snatch play going for a full pair of wide-outs. Just one
of those Pasties is about as useful as tits on a bull."
In a press release before Sunday's game, CBS's sister outlet [VIACOM's]
MTV promised "Janet's Shocking Moments."
"I'll get you naked by the end of this song," sang performer Justin
Timberlake, moments before he ripped off Jackson's top, exposing a
bare breast -- the nipple covered by a tassel.
MTV has apologized to Super Bowl fans and Justin Timberlake:
"Janet's breast was never intended to be involved in this kind of
cover-up, we're sorry for the whole tassel."
Kid Rock, who also performed at half-time, says that "Janet's
shocker didn't promote good health and safety, reminding kids to not
to try this stunt at home, and that somebody could break a tooth on
that thing."
Budweiser is threatening to sue, citing their purchase of the rights
to all displayed [bottle] caps in the stadium for the Bud Lite logo:
"Had Ms. Jackson been properly capped, we would not be objecting.
We're checking her numbers now, but we pretty sure that sales went
through the roof after her un-cupping."
Following Budweiser's stance, a spokesman for the mob volunteered
that, "the boys would be doing what they could to make sure that Mr.
Jackson (a.k.a. Michael) gets capped A.S.A.P."
