Q: How do you find the area of a circle?
A: When trying to find the area of a circle just consider the 'inside' of the circle, the outside is everything else.

 
Q: I noticed that you have raised the price of Free Parking to $2 dollars... why is this?
A: We noticed that a lot of patrons were parking across the street for free (no cost).

Q: When I log on to the internet, I hear "You've Got Mail" What exactly does this mean?
A: I don't know.... Don't think I've ever heard of that one before.

Q: I would like to watch Nick at Nite during the day, is this possible?
A: Sure, I do it all the time. Set your watch 12 hours ahead, or well I guess you could set it 12 hours behind would work too.

Q: What is the square root of 69?
A: Ate something!

Q: Are your FAQ's asked a lot?
A: Not really... they are just made up like the Newz.

Q: Do you spend a lot of time researching your news stories?
A: What do you call a lot? I can type 85 wpm so it really doesn't take that long.

Q: How can I quit 3 putting greens?
A: Make it go in the hole on either the 1st, 2nd, or 4th putt.

Q: I have heard of the phrase "E.T.", could you tell me what that means?
A: There are only 2 possible meanings:
1. Elapsed Time, a drag racing term that means how long it takes to go 1/4 mile.
2. Early Times, a blend of whiskey that drag racers drink before they get in their race car.

Q: Where is Walt Disney World?
A: Florida, I think...

Q: How often should I take my One-A-Day vitamins?
A: Sorry, I don't have a medical degree. I was a business major in college.

Q: Do you prefer Daylight Savings Time?
A: Actually I don't like it. The extra hour of sunlight burns up my grass.

Q: What is your favorite color?
A: Sorry, I don't know... I only have a Degree in Business Administration.

Q: Did you learn anything as a mechanic?
A: Yes I did... I realized it's more fun to screw than to hammer.

Q: I noticed that all the "Brothers" have equalizers hooked to their stereo. What exactly does this do.
A: Makes all that shit sound the same.

Q: What is the relationship between Rich & Missy Bossmund?
A: Absolutely Nothing.... they even went to different schools together.

Q: I’ve heard this saying “SIX TO ONE - HALF DOZEN TO ANOTHER” could you tell me what exactly  a 6:1 ratio has to do with half a dozen of anything?
A: That’s simple… There are 12 games at Jai Li and chances are you will loose 6 games before winning one. This means that if you order Nachos & Beer you will be out of money before the 7th game.

Q: IF you traveled at the speed of light how fast would you go during the night?
A: You would travel at the same speed if it is a full moon. Any portion of moon will be exactly how fast you will be going. 176,000 miles per second would be reduced to 88,000 miles per second if only half the moon is showing, which in reality is still PDQ. (pretty damn quick)

Q: If you majored in business then why are you the bossmund of junkbrothers news?
A I really don’t have a MBA (Monkey Business Admin) I only have a Bachelor of Science (BS) which is perfect for Fake News.

Q: JB=MC2
A: you made a critical mistake, it is actually JBN = MC (SQUARED)

Q: Do you know of any Better websites?
A: Of course there a lot of Better Websites. The first one that comes to mind is Better Business Bureau www.bbb.org and Better Homes & Gardens http://www.homesny.com/ and of course my favorite, 69 Tips for Better Sex http://www.sweetdreamz.com/69/

Q: If tom had 5 apples and jack kick his ass and stoled three of them, how many apples would tom have after he woke up from his coma.
A: None, his sister ate one and the other was evidence in the trial.

Q: Was JBN conceived on a whim?
A: It was more like a Binge

Q: Did the IRS raid the JBN office and arrest the editor? Is that why there hasn’t been any inter office memo's?
A: Two reasons for no more inter office memo:
1. The New Typewriter ribbon broke
2. We ran out of those fancy papers.



 

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