Funny Junk You Didn't Know
Lord Almighty Thank You!
A Letter From Steve On The Road.
Dear Mr. Bossmund,
First let me apologize for not wishing you a Happy Thankgiving__ I was laid up without a case of the DTs (Deep Turkeys). Anyways, I really do appreciate the free parking pass, and I plan to use it at the Citrus Bowl when I'm scouring the tailgators for cans. I realize the printers forgot to change the year from 2006, but I'm sure that it will be strait at the gate on game day.
Also, thanks you much for the turkey! You know just how I like wild turkey, and that was three fingers that hit the spot. The dribblet gravy didn't hurt it a bit; but samoans must have kicked the bucket, cause I found those dribblet chunks all over the outside of the turkey bottle.
You don't know how much it means to find that Thankgiving dinner was left for me in Free Parking. I never did expect such curb-side service.
You know, I was hand tossed down at the Taco-Tucky-Hut for stuffing a colonel's breasts and deep-dishing a Chihuahua's chalupa with my cheesy gordita. Go figure that they would treat an Navy X-man that way; frigging foreigners! They ought to deport the hole lot back to Kentucky!
Anyway, I regress... I especially was tickled over the cranberry sauce. How thoughtful was you to open the can! I admit I've never had it with caviar before. I knew caviar was black, but never had any. It made it taste kind of fishy!
My condom-mints to the chef! Was it him or you chose a recipe that included tequila worms? Judging by the wiggles, that must have been top shelf tequila!
Somebody said cranberries is good for kidney stones and urinary track, so later on I watered mine down real good! It's a bright rusty orange__ that's my urine; I'm still working on rusting the track.
I didn't pass no stones when I tinkled; I don't tink to myself out loud like most doods. Why blab it when you write it on your car? Does a bear let one fall in the woods if nobody is around to smell it? I tink not!
I know that I've been late with my street reporting. I promise that next year I'll be thinking inside pandora's box! Which is logical because she tells me that's where my brains are.
Don't you worry none. I get a receipt every time to leave in your petty cash kitty. You can thank me later! Hey! I just had a stroke of gina's! If tampon were made of aluminum, more would be recycled instead of clogging up drain holes.
I bet you they'd sell out of sixpacks of aluminominum tart pop-tops down to the Woolsworth like babies take to passoflyers!
Many thanks agin to you sir. You are a genitalman in a collar; a magnetar precurser of the highest fine!
Yours coolly, Steve OTR
First let me apologize for not wishing you a Happy Thankgiving__ I was laid up without a case of the DTs (Deep Turkeys). Anyways, I really do appreciate the free parking pass, and I plan to use it at the Citrus Bowl when I'm scouring the tailgators for cans. I realize the printers forgot to change the year from 2006, but I'm sure that it will be strait at the gate on game day.
Also, thanks you much for the turkey! You know just how I like wild turkey, and that was three fingers that hit the spot. The dribblet gravy didn't hurt it a bit; but samoans must have kicked the bucket, cause I found those dribblet chunks all over the outside of the turkey bottle.
You don't know how much it means to find that Thankgiving dinner was left for me in Free Parking. I never did expect such curb-side service.
You know, I was hand tossed down at the Taco-Tucky-Hut for stuffing a colonel's breasts and deep-dishing a Chihuahua's chalupa with my cheesy gordita. Go figure that they would treat an Navy X-man that way; frigging foreigners! They ought to deport the hole lot back to Kentucky!
Anyway, I regress... I especially was tickled over the cranberry sauce. How thoughtful was you to open the can! I admit I've never had it with caviar before. I knew caviar was black, but never had any. It made it taste kind of fishy!
My condom-mints to the chef! Was it him or you chose a recipe that included tequila worms? Judging by the wiggles, that must have been top shelf tequila!
Somebody said cranberries is good for kidney stones and urinary track, so later on I watered mine down real good! It's a bright rusty orange__ that's my urine; I'm still working on rusting the track.
I didn't pass no stones when I tinkled; I don't tink to myself out loud like most doods. Why blab it when you write it on your car? Does a bear let one fall in the woods if nobody is around to smell it? I tink not!
I know that I've been late with my street reporting. I promise that next year I'll be thinking inside pandora's box! Which is logical because she tells me that's where my brains are.
Don't you worry none. I get a receipt every time to leave in your petty cash kitty. You can thank me later! Hey! I just had a stroke of gina's! If tampon were made of aluminum, more would be recycled instead of clogging up drain holes.
I bet you they'd sell out of sixpacks of aluminominum tart pop-tops down to the Woolsworth like babies take to passoflyers!
Many thanks agin to you sir. You are a genitalman in a collar; a magnetar precurser of the highest fine!
Yours coolly, Steve OTR